The Dad That Got Away with Murder Pt. 2
Brooke Nicole was just 6 years old when she heard her father murder her mother. Her father was never arrested. In her journey to seek justice for her deceased mother, Brooke has gained a huge following of hundreds of thousands of people who are interested in her story. It's turned her into a unique sort of celebrity. And that comes with its own unique problems. It's something Collier can relate to, as the two discuss.
Hear how Brooke Nicole turned to TikTok as a joke to share her dark story, and how the community embraced her.
Having a love life and dating can be tough enough, but when you're a celebrity in the true-crime world there are a number of unique problems.
There is the pressure a host faces from their fans to continue to create content, however, when your content revolves around your trauma, the process can take a serious mental toll.
For the stars and hosts of true-crime shows, what's it like to be out in public and get approached by a complete stranger who knows your entire story?
When recording new content, what sort of production process does Brooke use?
Follow Brooke on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bnicole324
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Intro Stinger 0:51
Testimony continued today in the most notorious criminal trial in Richland County history. Dr. John Boyle is accused of killing his wife, Noreen, and burying her body in the basement of his new home in Erie, Pennsylvania. The 12-year-old son finally took the stand. I heard a scream, I heard a thud. It was about this loud. We the jury find the defendant guilty.When I was twelve years old, my testimony sent my father to prison for murdering my mother. This podcast serves as a type of therapy and reconciliation for myself, and it is my hope that it helps anyone who has experienced deception, betrayal, and dark trauma. I’m Collier Landry, and this is Moving Past Murder.
Collier Landry 1:11
When I was 12 years old. My Testimony sent my father to prison for murdering my mother. This podcast serves as a type of therapy and reconciliation for myself. And it is my hope that helps anyone who has experienced deception, betrayal and dark trauma. I'm call your Landry and this is moving past murder. Hey, movers welcome back to another episode of moving past murder. I'm your host call your Landry and what's going on? What's going on everybody? Happy Friday. Thank you for listening tuning in again. We've read episode in store for you today because this is part two of my episode. Interview with Brooke Nicole who I discovered on Tik Tok and speaking of Tik Tok, thank you all of my supporters on Tik Tok that have discovered me here on the podcast, you guys are listening, you are downloading, you're subscribing to my YouTube channel. And if you've not subscribed, please, you're watching this on YouTube, click like and subscribe and helps with the algorithm. I also want to give a big shout out to those of you that are supporting me on Patreon. I have a new Patreon supporter today. Her name is seesaw. Nicole Garcia, thank you so much for supporting the program, the podcast, every little bit helps. Thank you so much. Mostly goes towards coffee that keeps me up to do the podcast in the first place. Anyways, yeah, thank you all so much seriously, you know, building this thing, it is a labor of love. And I appreciate all your support. Every single download helps, every single subscription helps. Every single pledge your support helps, really does. I cannot thank you all enough. So enough of that. I want to get to this week's listener question. And actually will actually list her comment. And this one has kind of made me smile because this is from Chanel brown on YouTube. And she says, I love the sound of your voice too. We have something in common. When I need to relax, I put you on the on and within three to five minutes. I am fully relaxed, hopefully not fully asleep, relaxed we like which is a big thing. It normally takes me ages because anxiety and thoughts. But I focus on you and what you're talking about. And it also can be a mission because again, thoughts and other things. And what I'm trying to say so Okay, Chanel, thank you so much for writing. Thank you for commenting on my voice because sometimes I make jokes about how I love the sound of my own voice. So obviously it was what she is alluding to. Thank you very much. I appreciate your cheeky humor. If no one else does, I do. So I have a great episode for you guys. This is part two of my interview with Brooke Nicole and you guys listened last week. You heard her sort of unfold her story about how she heard the murder of her mother happen. It was her father had said her mother committed suicide than it was she got hit by a car and then it was some other story. And then you know you guys have seen a lot of parallels being drawn as Brooke and I talk between my father and his narcissistic and sociopathic behavior and her own father which is an unfortunate club to be a part of for sure. 100% you do not want to be a member of this club or anything like that. It Yeah, it's really unfortunate. But look she has taken to social media and Tik Tok especially to get her story out there to raise awareness for domestic violence and to also help bring justice for her mother. And it's really really cool. To see that unfortunately, some members of her family are like, Why can't you just walk away from this? And why are you making a big stink? And you know, that is to be expected? I had the same reactions from my own family. And I still do, actually, why do you keep talking about this? Why do you bring it up? Well, hey, guess what, this is my life, this was the hand I was dealt. And these are the cars that I'm going to play. And, you know, I think I'm doing the best I can. And I'm, I'm happy with myself. So that's really all that matters. So I really commend Brooke on on what she's doing. It's really, really cool to meet another kindred spirit, unfortunately, on those terms, but hey, it is what it is. We do the best we can, like I said, you play the hand you're dealt. And that is something that I have taken me a long time to do. But, you know, it kind of it started to really culminate in me.
Making a Murderer Mansfield, my film, when I returned to my small town and confront, you know, look at the impacts of the murder and the consequences of violence on my small town community. And those that were involved in the murder, indirectly, obviously, but you know, the ancillary victims exploring exploring subjects like non combat PTSD, things of that, and then my personal journey to sort of to not sort of to get an answer from my father on why he killed my mother. And if you watch the film, you see the big confrontation scene, or I guess I don't know if it was a confrontation or not, but it was a big scene with me, facing my father in prison to talk to him about the murder and see what he had to say about it. To say the least. If you haven't checked it out, it is on investigation, discovery or discovery plus now, it was on Hulu is called a murder in Mansfield. That was probably the thing that started to really galvanize my approach to doing something like a podcast, which is where I, you know, obviously, I'm relating every week to you guys, not only my personal story of what happened with my mother, and you know, reading the letters from prison for my father, for you guys, as my audience seems to be not only cathartic for myself, but also cathartic for you guys, listeners, and always, every single week, I appreciate all of your input that you guys give me because it helps me develop material and podcasts that are beneficial to you guys, my audience. So I thank you for that for reaching out for all your comments. Thank you so much. On that note, I want to get into part two of my interview with Brooke Nicole, being Nicole three to four tick tock is her handle. And yeah, let's get into the second part of our interview with Brooke Nicole. So here, you've lived through this your entire life. Yes. You're obviously a functioning adult. And then you discover tick tock. Oh, yeah. How did an end you so so talk to me about that what you say you found a platform where you could start to be an advocate for your mother? Was that your intent? With pursuing all of this?
Brooke Nicole 8:15
Yes, and no, I always wanted to find some sort of platform to do something about it. But the way I always saw it was I need to be older and I need to get through college, I need to have an established job. Because I always said, if I have a mental breakdown over this, I don't know how I'm gonna react, you know, I don't know if I'm going to learn all these new things about it and just break down. Or I might be fine. But I don't want to risk college over that. I don't want to risk a career over that I need to be stable. So that's the first thing I did was get through all of that. And then once I was stable, I'd like bought a house, I have a career like graduated college, all that I was like, Okay, now I need to do something about it. I need to start talking. And the only way to really do the research and start talking and start talking to people because I a lot of the people that like the investigators and stuff, they're starting to die or retire or you know that it's all from 25 years ago. So I was like I am kind of on a timeline. But I also had to do it when it was okay with me. But then tic tock happened. And the pandemic happened and I'm like scrolling through tic tock and there's this like funny trend. And I had this idea for a super morbid joke, tic toc. And I was like, Oh, this is not gonna go well, for my family. They're gonna hate this. I did it just to be funny. And my cousins were like laughing at me, who I'm really close to. They were like, Oh, that's funny, you know, but you have to know my sense of humor, which dead parent humor can be like, a whole like sci fi thing that people don't understand, you know?
Collier Landry 9:56
So, oh, people get upset and people were like, how can you joke about this? And I'm like, well How like, what am I? What would you do crawl under a rock?
Brooke Nicole 10:03
This is my reality. You know, it is what it is. And I was like, I think my mom would find it funny. So there we go.
Collier Landry 10:10
Yeah, my mother had to start dying. So I'm like, I'm like, It's fine.
Brooke Nicole 10:15
Don't worry about it like, so I made the show tic tock it. Like, quote unquote, blew up. Like, I didn't know what it looked for me who had like three followers. Suddenly, I had like 12,000. And people were like, oh, what's the story? So I just was like, Well, I guess I'll start telling it. So I started telling the story from start to finish, and then, overnight, one night randomly, I went from 12,000 followers to 800,000 in the matter of 24 hours. Something picked up and it was like six months later, so I was shocked. And then suddenly, it was everywhere. And it that came out of nowhere. So like, Yes, I did mean to like, use Tik Tok, but not really was gonna end up having to like write a book or something eventually, like I was like, what way? Can I like put this story out there? Will people pay attention? Like I've written letters to law enforcement for years, nobody paid attention. Nobody got back to me. No one responded. Like, you know, I was ignored for at least five years before tic toc by everyone who I thought mattered. I mean, I wrote state representatives I wrote everybody I could think of and nobody responded to me. So I was like, why I'm not really a YouTuber. Like, that's not my thing, I'm sure. And so yeah, I Tiktok kind of I fell into it on accident, because I had a morbid idea. For a barbecue.
Collier Landry 11:55
Oh, yeah, me too.
Brooke Nicole 11:57
Well, this is way easier than writing a book. I could just talk, like, talk to a camera. And yeah, the fact that people pay attention to it never really occurred to me, and then it happened. So yeah, overnight. That's why it jumped.
Collier Landry 12:15
So something that I find really interesting. And I don't know if this is a trauma survivor thing, or what but you spoke about, you're going to tell this story, you're going to do something about this, but you need to be in a certain position to do it. Like you have this whole list of goals, much like myself of like, okay, look, you know, my father did go to prison. I didn't put my father in prison. And all that happened. But still, for me, that's not where the story ended. It's really kind of where it began for me, right? And I was like, Okay, so I'm going to get out of my small town, I'm going to pursue a career in the arts, I'm going to either like I've told people ad nauseam, but it basically was like, I'm either going to, you know, I went to music school. So I was like, I'm either going to become a rock star, and be, you know, be a rock star become famous, and then tell my story and help people, or I'm going to become a filmmaker and tell my story and help people like, it's, it's one of those two things is gonna happen. And I end up being a filmmaker, right? And it's it, but it all had this very calculated time timeline to it. And graded. Like, probably the one thing is choosing a life of an artist wasn't like you choose financial stability, of course. But what I did do is I want it to be, you know, people kept saying to me, Well, when you're in the scene with your father in prison, is that the very like, is that the first time you saw him? Like, no, I had a relationship with my father for 25 years. You know, all of that was was leading up to my father, to confronting my father and President because I was teeing all this up, getting to know him. You know, and with this desire to tell my story, my father actually thought that I was making a film to help him get out of prison, because that's what narcissists do, right? Oh, yeah. And he thought it was all about it. Of course, it's all about him. Right? And that's, but it was, again, this very methodical, calculated, like, on my time, when I will deal with this, this is step one, step two, step three, step four. And I wonder, and this is why all that to say this, do you feel like having that calculated, sort of systematic approach to it where you're almost compartmentalizing? If that is a trauma response, do you feel oh, I
Brooke Nicole 14:25
know it is. I know it is because I in therapy. My therapist, I talked about this all the time, because I she says I'm extremely high functioning, but I have an extremely high standards for myself. I will literally schedule and like plot out everything free time, everything. Like I'm going to watch this many episodes of this show. And then we're going to read this many chapters of this book, and like I do that on the daily. I make lists. I do so I know that that's always been so that I can check things off. And so I can have some control over my environment like that's what it is, it's a coping mechanism to have control over your environment, because you come from a place of chaos and instability. And that is the way that I can organize my own chaos. So I do this every day of my life. So even for big things for little things, I need to be able to not do that sometimes, because I have a lot of trouble relaxing, even in my free time, or things that are supposed to be relaxing, I turn them into goal oriented things. So like, I can't just read a book, I have to read this many books in this amount of time. So you know, like, it's horrible, but it is how I function. It's so familiar. Earlier, though, it's like literally to control your environment and to control your surroundings. And it's, you know, people are like, well, you control the things you can well, these are the things I can control. So, yeah, I had to have that list of goals, because I was convinced that if I didn't go to college and get a degree first certified, you know, I would focus so much on this. And if I didn't have that, to back me up, I would never go, i would never go back, I would never, you know. And I, I wanted to make sure that I set myself up to like, be in a position to live a life that he didn't get to dictate that like I dictated for myself, like, I was like, I want these things for myself. So I need to make sure that they happen first. And then because whatever he's done in the past is going to send me for like an emotional roller coaster later. But I need to make sure I I don't want to lose the potential for these things. I want to make sure I have them first before I let that happen. So it is definitely a coping mechanism. But it has always been how I functioned like my whole life. So even like, I was super into movies and film and, and theater in high school. I could, I would like literally pick like a director or an actor or something and watch their entire filmography. And I would check it off in a list. Like things like that like that. I've always done that. So
Collier Landry 17:17
you know, it works. But it's so I can relate so much this now I can't relate to the like, putting my scheduling myself down to the minute of the day with with certain things like even remedial tasks, like going to the grocery store or whatever. But when you were telling it to me, I was like, God, that sounds great. I was I was great. energized by that. I wasn't like that sounds nuts. I was like that sounds that sounds amazing. Like what call your you need to step up your team get a little more organized with your day, because I'm always because it's so funny. Like you see the guitars behind me. I went to music school people are like, you know, you talk about high standards, right? And people are like, oh, you know, can you play guitar? I'm like, I'm not that good or whatever. And then I realized that, like, I have friends that are professional musicians, famous, right? And that's when I'm in my head with my trauma. I'm like, like, Yeah, but I can't play like extra person. And they're like, Yeah, but not many people. Yeah, like you understand that. But like, that's the ridiculously high standard. So then I'm like, Well, I just want really well, I won't play for you or whatever. And they're like, Oh, you're great. And I'm like, Yeah, but I'm not this person. Like you just do these. You did. And I And again, I so I'm wondering, you just answered my question, which is, is that a trauma response these setting these really very high standards in a way that like we like it makes us feel comfortable because it feels probably to the outsider, they're going or to our therapists, for sure. I'm sure are going like these are such unrealistic expectations for you, that you're never going to achieve it and you're but we justified in our minds that like, look, I made a film about my life with a two time Oscar winner about my life. And it was not somebody approached me. I was the one that initiated all this and found all the people and put everything together. And it's one of those things, but like that is like when I stop and think about it. If I was if somebody was telling me that story, it was not me. And they were telling me my story. I believe that's fucking insane. You understand how insane that is? But then with myself, I look at it and I go well, yeah, what else was Yeah, exactly like that. Just why behind it, and people were just like, but you understand how bizarre that is? Right? And I'm like, No, but it's not bizarre. But it really probably is just for us. We just have this like, sort of, like in these high standards, give us something to like, really look forward to or to move towards. Because if we feel like we're going to regress, right? I think that's a trauma response is like, Oh, we're gonna regress into this feeling of abandonment or whatever. So if we have these things, and I think that it's great professionally, I don't know if it's great in like terms of relationships. Romantic relationships, guys, that's where I was gonna go with because my dating life is like, is like a dumpster fire. Oh yeah, literally, it's a constant dumpster fire.
Brooke Nicole 20:02
Don't you have issues because like they can't see my outward like outwardly I don't project any, like, really messed up issues that you might expect to see with someone with my story, like stereotypically. And I'm like, Yeah, but you should see me try to talk to bed. Like, it's a whole other thing, like, how I deal with relationships is completely different. Like, I have so many issues surrounding that. But that's where 90% of my issues live. Because it's a dumpster fire. Yeah. But will
Collier Landry 20:34
because it's, it's also like this, this weird thing because they, they, I feel like, you come into a situation there. And it's this mutual attraction, and they don't know all this stuff. And then I feel like a lot of it is like, I'm very upfront, especially now, like I wasn't for years. I mean, I was upfront, but I wasn't like, here's the whole story. But now because the whole story is out there. I'm like, just, Oh, you don't know who I am just Google not to sound like a debt. But just google me, just in case, you want to continue to talk to me, because I'm very public. And I have this very public story. And I don't want there to be any surprises because that sounds like a little, you know, solipsistic. When you say that to someone, and I have to, like put this caveat on it. But I'm like, this is just I know, this sounds like it because they're like, oh, yeah, Googling for weather, like, Oh, my God, like that. Oh, I thought you were just like, you were some whatever. And you were just trying to show off. And I'm like, no, no, trying to give you a heads up before you even go down this road. And it's like this weird sort of thing. But I feel like a part of it is we're dealing with stuff that we bring to the relationship. Like every every person that's been in relationships has baggage, but also then they sort of take this baggage that we have, and they project it on themselves. Like, oh my god, how am I dealing with this person? Right through this, like my day? Like, I was watching this comic, Cummings. I don't really know what her story is. I love Whitney Cummings. By the way, dumbest moment in my life. He talks about talking to women. I met her once and we're talking literally the blue that came out of my mouth was like, you are absolutely stunning in real life. Because she, she was stunning to me. Dark hair piercing blue eyes just, I'm just like, a mirror of the gym. She's like, Yeah, that's always tough to hear. And then literally, like, was dismissed as quickly as she said hi to me. And I was just, it was like, I didn't think to myself like, oh, this drink because I'm out. Anyways, she was talking about this. She was engaged in this guy. And he was saying talking about his trauma. And his trauma was he remembers when he he saw his dad putting the Christmas presents out. And then he and what was dramatic about that is is he discovered there was no Santa Claus. That was his big trauma. And she was enriched. It could be a total joke, but it's interesting. Like the normies if you call him if you're in AAA, or what are they called? The normies. You know, the normies that are just like, oh, yeah, my big trauma is like, that's what happened to my life. And it's like, oh, okay, yeah, I discovered there is no Santa Claus. Because after my mother was murdered, I was cleaning out her house. And I discovered all letters from Santa Claus and asked the person I was with, why does mommy have all the letters from Santa Claus? And she goes, Wait, you didn't know that Santa Claus is fake. Like, there's no Santa Claus. And I didn't know that there was no Santa Claus was actually the one thing of my childhood. But that's how I found out. So that was a traumatic thing. That was like, Okay, so my mother's been murdered. My father has been arrested in Santa Claus, all in the span of like, 30 days.
Brooke Nicole 23:31
I love that. No, I, I used to not tell like I covered my face for part of what you were talking about. Because it was crazy. I used to not tell anybody that I was stating right away. Like I just, I was just kind of aloof about it until I got to know them better. Because I didn't want them to be like, Oh, that's too much and like, run away. Because it's seemingly a lot of red flags right away, you know? And I'm like, Okay, I don't want them to like, that wasn't to judge me, for me not for something that happened to me as a kid. So I want them to know me first. So I used to kind of when I was younger, hide it a little bit, until it came out. Like I thought they'd be like, Oh, were your parents like, oh, I don't really have them. Like, we'll talk about it later. Like, I was never like, I wasn't I never lied. I just never fully told the truth until I got to know them for a couple of months. And then it's not
Collier Landry 24:27
lying. I understand. People say well, you're not telling the truth. But like, yeah, not telling the truth. And like, you're, you're well, they think you're 35 and you're really 44 Well, that's that's sort of deceptive. Not wanting to tell them that your father murdered your mother and it like or whatever it is like that. You don't really have to volunteer that that's not lying.
Brooke Nicole 24:48
Date material. So like, I want to like make sure I'm serious about this person before I like tell them you know, everything and like I can trust them because it was harder for me to tell details back in the day and stuff. up. So I did, I would wait. But now that's not really an option because like, I get recognized everywhere, you're ticked off. And so I'm like, oh, people are like I was in the McDonald's drive thru and somebody was like, here that call from tic toc whose mom died. And I'm like, I just really want a Diet Coke. Was a Diet Coke. Why? Okay, thank you. I appreciate you. Like I don't don't get me wrong, like people can come up to me. I don't mind that at all. And I get that everyone wants to talk about it. I put it out there. But dating it has made things a little different. Because I have to be like, on my profile, it says if you see me on tick tock, no, you didn't. That's yeah. Tick tock. No, you didn't. You did not.
Unknown Speaker 25:57
Ghost Stories are always scarier when they're told by the very people who experienced them. Hi, I'm Becky. And I'm Diana. And were the hosts of the homespun hates podcast.
Unknown Speaker 26:09
We talk to people just like you who's come face to face with ghosts, demons, eights, and other strange paranormal phenomena. All of that makes for a chilling good time.
Unknown Speaker 26:19
So grab yourself a sweet tea, turn off the lights and listen to some airy true ghost stories on homespun hates wherever you get your podcasts.
Unknown Speaker 26:29
I'm not scared, are you?
Collier Landry 26:33
I actually I engaged in a very brief relationship with a girl and she had discovered me on Tik Tok and then slid into my DMs on Instagram because you can't message them on Tik Tok. And then, and she herself was famous. And she's like, I just think you're really hobbled by we carried on this relationship for like three weeks or whatever. But, but it was very interesting. I was like, oh, there's some benefits to this to this is interesting. But also it's like when you're telling your story out there, then it's like I was at an event in Malibu a couple of weeks ago. And they this girl comes up to me. I'm like looking for the restaurants like are you calling her Landry? And like, I'm used to that now. Because of like the film or whatever it is. I thought she was gonna do this in your podcast, or I saw the film. But she's like, No, I'm your biggest fan on Tik Tok. And I was like, oh my god, this is like, this is actually a thing. Yeah. Okay, this is the thing. All right. I mean, that's cool. It just was like, Oh, this is the thing. This is great. Um, I can't imagine. That is funny. And the other thing I was thinking about is just if you're at the McDonald's drive thru, and I'm like, okay, that's terrible. But then you said to get your diet coke, and you cannot get fountain drinks, because it COVID Anyway now and I do love a good diet coke from the fountain with the ice. And now I'm like, You know what, I should just go to McDonald's and get it that you So you gave me a pro tip right there.
Brooke Nicole 27:50
That's what I get at McDonald's. This is a fountain that coke. So
Collier Landry 27:55
there's one down the street and I will at some point today go because yesterday, I was like, I really want a fountain Diet Coke. And I don't drink Diet Coke very often. But that's what I was craving. And I was like, I don't know where to go to get that. And now I do. It's
Brooke Nicole 28:09
just no, that's actually like my one bias is coke and Diet Coke, which I limit myself on. I would rather have that than desserts. I don't like a lot of sweets or anything so, but I love soda. I love Coke. And I love Diet Coke. And I let myself have it once every couple weeks. I'm having a very bad day. Like or I just want one. I'm like you got to
Collier Landry 28:32
everybody's got Yeah. Pepsi now and I'm like, What are you what's wrong with you?
Brooke Nicole 28:38
Pepsi? Okay, I'm like, No, I want water. Rather, rather of water than Pepsi. It's not worth it to me.
Collier Landry 28:46
Okay, so we got that out of the way. So, um, I guess what I was going to ask is Okay, so now you've you you've found this platform with tick tock. You've arrived at this sort of place in your life? Like, what is? What is the sort of the next like evolution for you with your story? Are you going to write a book? Are you I mean, have you been approached because of your tick tock? Because the story by like news organizations, I have been production copies or whatever I have been? Yeah. So what is that? I
Brooke Nicole 29:19
chose with my family not to do that. We were approached by someone like a news organization that who wanted to do it, and there were just too many red flags with it. So we didn't go forward with that, because I was like, I'd rather have more control over it than not. But I don't know I'd like to write a book about it. Eventually. I'm a big reader. I try to read like it all the time. I have a library in my house.
Collier Landry 29:51
Today. You're going to read 35 pages and get halfway through chapter four of the new book that you're reading the nonfiction book because you have to read a nonfiction And a fiction book is
Brooke Nicole 30:01
currently reading for books. function that I I literally like I have a book goal for the year in general. But I'm actually three books away from hitting it for this year. So I might double it. I don't know yet. But yeah, I read a lot. And I have a library in my house that I so it's because it's the only time I can really shut my brain off. It's kind of nice, but it's my thing. So I was like, I would love to write a book or something like that. But I just get daunted by like the idea of doing that. It's a lot. So I actually still have a ton of stuff to go through that I've not even read from this case. Like, I have so many papers and so much evidence and stuff that I've not even seen, because it's just I ended up with two big totes full of stuff. And like depositions and reports and all kinds of stuff, affidavits. And I was going to put more of it on Tik Tok. And then it just kind of got too overwhelming. So I took a break for a couple months, and I just posted about like my life, then I lost some followers for it. But I didn't really care because I have to do what's best for me.
Collier Landry 31:17
Oh, I lost I lost followers too. I didn't post for like a month or like, well, we want to hear about your story. I mean, I see that I'm like, Well, yeah, but like, I get it that is entertainment for you. But you know, also like I have to write. And also it's a lot for me, it is it is a lot to keep doing this and keep giving your life up. And you know, I think some people, some people are extremely Tiktok community is extreme. But then there are still people that are just consumers that just wants you just want to exploit it and just want to like no more normal, right? It's like an insatiable act and an insatiable appetite. A lot of ways, especially with true crime. And so they just wanna hear more, more, more, and you're like, Okay, well, like, I don't want to get to that part of the story yet, because I'm also like, I have to deal with it. It's a whole thing. And yes, it's a three minute video, but that three minute video takes an hour for me to do it because I keep doing it or whatever. I do everything in one take as well. Yeah, I try to keep it I don't do the jump Cuddy thing. I keep it all like just telling the story. So I do want it to be I do stop and restart a lot. And I go and I try to do all the app. I don't even trying to like record on my iPhone. I just do it like right there. I
Brooke Nicole 32:27
record mine and Snapchat. Scandal you Snapchat. Yeah, I record mine and Snapchat because I could stop and start easier and like not have to worry about as choppy as it is. So I lay stop and start, save, stop, start save. And then I literally upload it in that order and move on. I never looked at it again. Interesting, because I don't want to. Yeah, I learned a chord and but figuring out what I'm going to say, takes me so long to figure out what I'm going to talk about how I'm going to approach it. I don't want to offend people. I don't want to offend people on Tik Tok. I don't want to offend people in my life. I don't want to you know, and so it's kind of a fine line to be the face of something that so many people care about. Yeah, like it is, like people don't realize that. True Crime has to be like it is people's lives. And it has to be glamorized to an extent to get people to care and to get interest for the case. But at the end of the day, it's not a fan base thing. It's people's lives. Like it's not something that like, is for entertainment purposes only. Like we have to do this stuff to get attention for the victims. Yeah, absolutely. Like, that's, that's something I've had to deal with a lot with people in my real life, like thinking that I'm doing this for attention. And I finally had to be like, Yeah, I am. I am doing it for attention. I'm doing it for attention for her. Yeah, exactly. She deserves attention. It's been 25 years. That is exactly why I'm doing it. And I purposely don't tiktoks with no makeup with my hair and a messy bun with my pajamas on. Because I want people to take me seriously and no, like that's not the point. I am not the point.
Collier Landry 34:12
Yeah, that's the story. Yeah. Like I saw you to sleep apnea mask. Is that what that? Oh, yeah, I
Brooke Nicole 34:18
was like, I'm not glamorous. Like I am a general but
Collier Landry 34:22
do you but do you so you do you wear that to sleep?
Brooke Nicole 34:25
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Changed my life. It's the best thing I've ever done. That and sleeping pills. I love it. How
Collier Landry 34:31
do you how do you sleep with that?
Brooke Nicole 34:34
It's actually very comfortable. Once you get used to it.
Collier Landry 34:37
What does it do? Does it give you
Brooke Nicole 34:39
oxygen? Yeah, it's like forces oxygen because like I stopped breathing in my sleep. And it forces me like it forces me to breathe. Yeah, I know. It's incredible.
Collier Landry 34:52
Can you get that on Amazon? No.
Brooke Nicole 34:56
prescription. It's very expensive actually. I'm sure it isn't. It's unfortunate. I'll say it's, it's great to be like, Yeah, I'm 32. And I sleep with the sleep apnea machine. It's great.
Collier Landry 35:09
Because people like you, me, my good friend, Tara Newell, who use that nobody told me to tell you that hard today and I love her so much. She wanted to make sure that for me to tell you that and her and I are doing a podcast together, which I love to have you on Survivor squash, but we are you. Like, we're all telling our carrier Robinson Chamberlain, same. Same thing. Like we're all sharing these stories, because we're in this sort of unique position where there are many people that cannot talk about this. And and we are able to articulate and to show that we live good, fulfilling lives. And this isn't controlling us gives a lot of people hope. So it's almost like it becomes his mission for us that we're like, Okay, we've got to continue doing this because it's it's so important. The work is so important, right? And it got does give people hope, because I don't know about you, but I'm sure I mean, with me what even when I made the film, right, it's, you know, I set out to change one person's life and you know, and heal my own. And it was like 10s of 1000s of people that that that I know of like not even the regatta people that don't reach out that have this effects. And then with tick tock and the people that come forward and that you give me strength to give me hope, this that the other which is incredible to be able to do that and stuff for people, but it is very taxing it is very exhausting. Yeah, reliving a lot of it. And sometimes if you don't keep yourself in check, you go crash and burn.
Brooke Nicole 36:40
Yeah, totally. And I know that when I first blew up, I was getting over 100 messages a day of people telling me the worst things that have ever happened to them. And it was so hard because I wanted to be there for everybody. But I felt so much pressure, like from everyone around me and then from ticks up, and like, I had to like, step back for like a couple of weeks and then start responding to people because I couldn't function for a while. And I was like, I need to do this at a slower pace that works for me, because I don't want to break down.
Collier Landry 37:12
Yeah, and it isn't they also people have to understand is that you know, when you're doing this, like I am a I'm a an artist, and I have to work and like I have to make films and I have to do stuff and and also have to get paid for my content. Like I just started doing ads on my tic tock, right? Because I did brand partnerships. And I think people were like, Oh, I didn't like my friend came over yesterday who was a big tick tock or is like 150,000 followers, it's just like, I want to talk to you about this video knows like, the video that it says hashtag, I like to start it because that's what it says it says paid partnership. Is that the video you want to talk about? She's like, Oh, I didn't see that. I was like, Well, yeah, I was like, that's why I'm talking about it. There. I'm not like, actually, like this is and I'm relating it to my story and my my brand. And that's what you do say, Oh, I didn't know you were doing that. I was like, Well, yeah. But it's like I do things have to feed the machine to keep the machine going. You have to you have to not only you know disengage so you can process everything, but also and be a better content creator in the process, and not let it die out. I mean, even the podcast is like, you know, getting monetization or getting people to get on the Patreon is like it this this is a very expensive endeavor in terms of finances and time, and everything. And it's a full time job that pays nothing, right. So you're doing these things, and you're trying to share, but also you need to keep the ship afloat. If they want to keep having the content, it's like if you don't want the content, then I'll answer your things all day. But he does, it gets exhausting. And then you hear these stories, too and how they're struggling. You know, I would say most of the ones that I encountered probably you too just because it's it's just it is an epidemic is you know domestic violence and and sexual assault in a sexual assault as a child. All of this and it's heartbreaking. And of course, a lot of them were like, you know, turned to drugs and alcohol, I turned everything I did turn to prostitution, because I'm worthless, bad relationships, bad marriage, because that's all I'm worth. And then it's they see these stories and they go, but you give me hope. Or when I read my father's letters from prison and expose like the narcissism and the gaslighting and everything they go, Oh, well, this is okay. Well, this was my ex husband or this is my ex boyfriend that I broke up with two weeks ago. And now I'm not going back. Somebody wrote that on the TIC tock and people were like, You go girl, get rid of that, man. See, this is what it is incredible, awesome to like, expose this, that people can change their lives because it's like, then it makes me feel like well, my mother didn't die in vain and I didn't. I'm doing something worthwhile That at least is helping people because people go well how can you read these letters and you're revisiting your trauma? And that's a lot and and it seems like you're not over it was like no, I am over it but it's just because As you're just because you've forgiven Yeah, healing from it doesn't mean that that's still not a process. And when you rediscover and reread those letters that were sent to you as a child realizing that this is the man who murdered this child's mother, and it is gaslighting him about his mother, and about the murderer and trying to make him feel guilty for his testimony, like that sinister. And it upsets me now because I'm looking at it objectively, not as myself but as, as a guy who's reading a letter that a father wrote, you know, and this all started because we, you know, we showed the letters in my film, right? But it but the information that people glean off this is invaluable to them. It used to be really well, why do you do that? I'm like, because, because people are taking it, they're running with it. And they're recognizing these behaviors in their own life. And it's changing
Brooke Nicole 40:43
their incredible I've had a lot of people that are in situations or just left situations that they were like, this could have been me, this could have been me, and I'm like, I Yeah, it's helpful. And I'm, I mean, I'm an analytical chemistry engineer, that's what I do. I don't know, I came into this world completely out of it, I had no idea how to do anything. I was like, Okay, I guess I'll figure it out. But it's gonna, there's gonna be a learning curve, I'm gonna need some time. This is not what I do. But I've had a lot of people be super supportive about it. But there are certain things that I wish I knew how to do, because it is very expensive to do this. Like, it does take all of my time, it takes so much of my time. And like feeding that and I'm like, Okay, I need to figure out how to monetize this in a way that doesn't like alienate people, you know, like, that are following man. Like, they feel supported still. But that's
Collier Landry 41:44
anything, but I think at the end of the day, they want you to be supportive. They're like, Okay, well, if you can, if you can get a partnership with someone, we don't necessarily, we might find this brand very valuable, which these people wrote to me like, this is a great thing. Super cool. And then some people were like, Oh, well, why you do this, or we'll follow you. But it's like, I do have to do things that sustain this. Because it's like, it is so much work. And if you if it's what you're doing, it's it's a you know, it's a one of the paradox of choice, I guess, or not, or not the paradox, that's the wrong word. It's an it's just a chat. It's just Yeah, challenge is what it is to really balance all of this. And live your life too. And also keep yourself sane, and keep your mental health up and all those things. And so I commend you on that. Now, there's really fast, you said, people supporting you. Now, you told me when we first spoke, that you're you did have family members that came to you? Or were like, Oh, yes.
Brooke Nicole 42:37
Oh, yes, my whole mom's family is like on it.
Collier Landry 42:40
And they kind of put it on you put it on here. Not
Brooke Nicole 42:44
intentionally, they were just really excited, of course. So they were like, oh, you should do a video about this thing. Or, you know, you should mention this, or you should mention this. And finally, I did have like a come to Jesus moment with them. And I was just like, hey, I need a break, I would love to do that. We need to not talk about it for a couple days, like, you know, because it was just I was like, this is becoming my whole life. I can't even go to dinner without being bombarded. But it what they were just so excited, you know that. So it was kind of hard for me to even say anything, you know, and create that little bit of a boundary, because I was like, Oh, they're so pumped, you know that somebody's paying attention and that people care. And they've spent 25 years trying to advocate, you know, for their sister, their sister in law, their aunt and like, nobody cared. Nobody listened to them. And so finally, people are listening. And they're just elated about it. And so they wanted to feed the machine, you know, they were like, Oh, do a tick tock on this, or you need to do one on this. And now that I'm like, now, I'm like, months later, okay, what should I do about guys like? This, I felt like right at the point in time, I'd actually just moved and just started a new job. And like, it was all at once. And I was like, Give me Give me a second. And now I'm much better with it. But they they meant they meant well. But it was very, very hard to deal with.
Collier Landry 44:12
But that's good. I mean, it is good to feel that support. Right? It's not like you know, I think it would be different if they reached out. I'm like, What are you doing? Oh, I know. It's good. That's a nice, that's a nice feeling. Especially have a from your brother's family, my brother's family. They don't even understand why those that do talk to me and my mother's family are talking to me like why are you talking to him? It's like I didn't. I would think I would be the celebrated one because I didn't let my father get away with it. He would have gotten away with it. You know, it was because of me that he got arrested and he went to prison because I testified because, again, it was all circumstantial evidence. It wasn't there wasn't anything to really pin him to anything. And it was my testimony that ultimately sealed his fate, right? So it's like How can you vilify me for doing that? And how can you vilify me for sharing my story? It's my story to share. You didn't lose your mother, you didn't like, you know, it says, I have to say these people, but it's it's, look, you know, survivor shaming and all these things. And then the massive consumption of true crime, the way the frenzy it's all, it's all. It's all a big pot that's being stirred. And it's sort of working itself out. I just did an article with BuzzFeed about, you know, ethical, true crime. And, you know, it's interesting, because now people were really thinking about that, like, Oh, my favorite, whatever is that person's worst day of their life, you know, and people are really starting to think about that, and how they consume to crab, which is amazing. It's amazing that survivors are being looked at it a different way. Whereas before, and especially with like SA and dv and things like that, where people are, you know, almost excoriated or shamed because of what they went through or feel that shame, because it's a societal thing, and they couldn't come forward. And that's not fair. Like that's, like, that's not there. They have nothing to be ashamed of. Like, it's, you know, it's sad that they feel that way. And I always try to, you know, help break down those walls and those stigmas and I think, I think that's what we're both doing. Anyways, I do want to do, I'm going to turn the monitor on. I do want to do a little video for Tiktok of both of us on here. I think we'll be okay. Yeah, of course. Okay with that. Oh, that's a photo that didn't work. So I'm here with Brooke, Nicole, or I'm here with some of you guys might recognize on tick tock. Hi. Hello, that is Brooke, Nicole. And I think I'm doing this right. Can you see me? Okay. Yeah, the iPhone sort of functioning? Yeah, I think we're Yeah, that's focusing. Anyways, we are interviewing on moving past murder.
Brooke Nicole 46:49
Hi, everybody. Everybody.
Collier Landry 46:52
We are doing a little interview for moving past murder and what's up tick tock, how are you? And we will see you guys very soon. We love you. And
Brooke Nicole 47:04
very excited. Very excited.
Collier Landry 47:09
It's terrible. It'll be fine. This has been really fun. Thank you so much. So much. Now I need to know now I know where to get my diet coke with ice. fountains. Super important peasy. You're welcome is a great thing. Brooke, Brooke. Brooke, Nicole. Brooklyn, as you is your real name. Yep. And it's so funny. I was telling our producer I was like, I'll be reviewing Brooklyn and she goes Who's that? I was like, she goes by Brooklyn College. Like Oh, really? It was Brooklyn. I was like, yeah. It's Brooklyn. Brooklyn. Brooklyn. That'd be it. Was that. Eva, believe it brothers ever brothers?
Brooke Nicole 47:48
Yes. Yes. Yep. Yep. Yeah. People just saying that to me in college.
Collier Landry 47:56
Oh, that's very sweet. Yeah. Thank you so much for your time. This is good stuff. And yeah, we're all part of this family now. It's very cool.
Brooke Nicole 48:04
It's cute. It's cute. I like it.
Collier Landry 48:07
It's a supportive family. We're all here for each other. Yeah, it's nice. That's heavy stuff. Right. But it is really amazing to also here Brookes, you know, positivity in her voice and her optimism is honestly as someone who is a perpetual optimist his entire life because really, and I know a lot of people come at me on social media, you know, wondering like, well, oh, well, how can you be so positive? Or your father did murder your mother and Baba Baba? Yeah, you just kind of one day, you got to make a choice, and you got to do something about it. And you know, there are many people that are and more and more so the podcast space, are really taking action for their loved ones who have been missing or are also, you know, really, I don't know. Really speaking up for ethical true crime, I suppose would be what they're doing and via In fact, I was just in Buzzfeed last Friday, August 12. They did an article about ethical true crime. Most mostly focused on the show The thing about Pam, which stars Renee Zellweger. And it's, you know, it is a very tragic story about just deception, betrayal, and just a horrific a horrific crime that was perpetrated on multiple people. And my good friends over at minds madness actually did an episode with Russ furry actually two parter episode with Russ ferrea and you can check out their podcast you can also check me out on their podcast minds of madness. Coming up because I am in an upcoming episode. I believe the episode is tentatively titled the brass ring, but I'll talk more about that as well. All as that episode air date approaches so I want to thank you all so much for tuning in. Again thank you for all your listener comments and feedback. I really appreciate it. It helps me grow the show into something that is really speaking to you guys my audience. And so on that note, I am Collier Landry and this is Moving past Murder. Thanks for listening.
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