A Stalker was Ruining Her Life, so She Created a Law to Fight Back
How far would a stalker have to push you before you took things into your own hands? Kimberly Miner fought all the way to lawmakers in Arizona, and eventually got a law passed to protect her, and criminalize her stalker's frightening behavior. In this episode, we hear how destructive stalkers can be, not just in-person, but online as well.
What's it like to be so afraid that someone is watching you in your own home that you cover all of your windows and literally run from room to room trying to hide? That's the life Kimberly lived.
Kimberly is a Moving Past Murder listener who contacted Collier after hearing our past episode with a cyber security expert. Her stalker followed her online, so Kimberly discovered essential security tips that kept her safe.
Kimberly's own terrifying encounter with a stalker led to her advocating for new protections that were passed into law in the state of Arizona.
When Some stalkers realize they can't have their victims, they then try to ruin their victims' lives by destroying their relationships with others.
What happens to victims of stalking afterward? Kimberly set up a foundation to help people get their confidence and self-worth back.
INFO: Link to cyber security episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/romance-scams-and-victims-who-just-want-to-find-love-online/id1551076031?i=1000570797053
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Kimberly Miner 0:08
at the worst at the worst point of of this, I had every window covered up. I was working on my laptop out of my bed. I was afraid to get out of my bed, I would go running. I would strategically think what I wanted out of my fridge to eat or drink. And I would strategically counted three and I would run to get what I wanted and would run back to my bed because that was too I was too afraid to think who was videoing me? What are they looking at? Sorry.
Intro Stinger 0:55
Testimony continued today in the most notorious criminal trial in Richland County history. Dr. John Boyle is accused of killing his wife, Noreen, and burying her body in the basement of his new home in Erie, Pennsylvania. The 12-year-old son finally took the stand. I heard a scream, I heard a thud. It was about this loud. We the jury find the defendant guilty. When I was twelve years old, my testimony sent my father to prison for murdering my mother. This podcast serves as a type of therapy and reconciliation for myself, and it is my hope that it helps anyone who has experienced deception, betrayal, and dark trauma. I’m Collier Landry, and this is Moving Past Murder.
Hey, movers welcome back to another episode of moving past murder. I'm your host call your Landry and let's go live. Oh, what's going on guys, another Friday. I've got a great episode in store for you guys. Man, I am tired. I just got back a couple of days ago from visiting my friends and family in Mansfield, Ohio, which is where I'm from. And it was a whirlwind trip I was there for man like 48 hours, maybe a little more. Got to catch up with some family got to catch up with some friends. I got to see my three nephews, Logan, Lachlan and Lennox, who just wanted me to play baseball with him. And it was really fun. My adoptive mother's side of the family had a family reunion that I came in town for because I had not seen some of these relatives in almost 20 years, which was really cool. And you know, for a lot of you know, I don't have any real connection with my birth family. Having been abandoned when the murder happened and remanded to the foster care system. I don't have a lot of contact with people, which is unfortunate, but it is what it is. But I do have a wonderful adoptive family that is supportive of me. And I got to see some of those failures that I haven't seen in a really long time. And of course, my nephew is my favorite. I also got to see some friends I got to see my dear friend Jason Klein, I got to see my dear, dear friend who's you know, my personal superhero, Dave mesomorph, who is a detective from my mother's case and his wife, Sue, I got to hang out with them a little bit and talk to them, I actually shot some Tiktok content with them. So and some Patreon content, your support means the world to me. And for those of you who are watching this on YouTube, please remember to click Like and Subscribe. It helps with the algorithm. I want to give a few shout outs to those people who I saw in Mansfield. So I went to the Westport Country Club and to see my dear friend Shirley seckel, who Shelly has been in my life since I've moved to Mansfield when I was like five years old. And she actually worked for my orthodontist. And you know, she we were posing for a picture and she said oh smile by March because my doctor was Dr. martes, who was my orthodontist I got to see see Shelley and Dan at Westport Country Club I got to meet their dear friend and massive moving past murder fan, Debbie Adams for Ontario. Sue and Bob Kleckner came out, they showed their support, they have hooked me up with a very special guest. I'm going to interview this weekend, who is very personal to me and has a massive connection to my father's case. So it is going to be a great interview. I'm stoked I can't wait to interview this guy. I also want to give a special shout out to Matt and HTML who are actually the ones who live in my house in Mansfield. And I got to go back and shoot some very exclusive content not only for Patreon, but also for my Tiktok channel. So you guys gotta check it out. If you found me on tick tock, welcome to the program and everyone that I saw back in Mansfield i Despite what you guys might think about me leaving as a you know, as a young man going out and pursuing the world. I still really do feel a deep connection with all of my Mansfield people. My Mansfield family, my Ontario warriors where I graduated in Oh my god. 1996 Oh, man, that was a while ago, but I still feel like an 18 year old that's for sure. Or at least I act like well
And maybe that's probably more accurate. But no in all seriousness, I love my hometown and I love all the support and love that I get from you guys. It was a great trip. It was a fun trip. But I am tired on Saturday, I was actually on an honored to be a guest on the minds of madness podcast, Tyler Allen back and the writer Ryan. They did an amazing job with my episode. It is called the brass ring. It is episode number 137 of the minds of madness podcast. And they just send me such a solid now for those of you that have never listened to minds of madness. It is like listening to a documentary. The audio quality is absolutely superb. It puts me to shame. And I have to be honest, they did such an amazing job with my story. I was crying when at the end of it, they put in so much love and care into their show. That's why they're so successful. You know the with wondery They've done an amazing job being a supporter of this program, giving me shout outs. And I just love Tyler back and Ryan so much and the whole team over at mines madness, because guess what, you know why they're so nice because they're all Canadian. Tyler and I bonded when we met at crime con because we I was at hotdocs. A couple of years ago were my film and murder Mansfield premiered. And he actually won an award at hot dogs for his sound design because he's an amazing sound designer. And if you listen to the program, again, episode number 137 of minds of madness, it is called the brass ring. And that all relates back to my mother who told me to grab the brass ring in life, but it is so well done, I can highly recommend them and thank them enough for being a part of the program. Thank you so much to everyone that supports this program, whether you are just downloading it and listening every week, whether you're watching on YouTube, hopefully you're doing both, or whether you subscribe to my Patreon and you support there because every download every day, word of mouth support really helps this program and really helps what I'm doing is a massive amount of work to put this together for you guys. It's like two o'clock in the morning right now. And I've been up since 4am. So I am always working on this and trying to bring you guys the best content that I can. I want to give a big shout out to my latest Patreon supporter, Daniela Klobuchar. And she discovered me on that mindset madness podcast. You know, she writes me on Instagram and I want to read her message this week. She says, Call your I heard your story on the minds of madness podcasts. And it was one that really got me. I am a single mom to my six year old son and I could never imagine what life for him would be like if I wasn't around. The bond you have with your mom reminds me of what I have with my son. Your courage as a 12 year old was incredible. The message you tell today is one that has stuck with me some days feel hard, and I keep asking why am I going through this alone, but I need to change it around to what now? Thank you for sharing your story. You are incredible. And such an inspiration. Daniela, Daniela, thank you so much for reaching out. And thank you for supporting the program on Patreon. Anyways, this week's episode is a tough one. Often when I speak to survivors who have gone through major major trauma, not everyone is as open as I am. And not everyone can be as open as I am because of there's a lot of legal things that go on with with situations where people and this particular My guest today is Kimberly miner, she runs the nonprofit envision you victory.org. And she is a survivor of a really, really bad stalking case and an abusive situation that she was in for. And she had the courage to reach out to me on Instagram and share her story with me. And I said I'd love for you to be able to program and give some tips to my audience. Because I do have a lot of people that are victims of domestic abuse that are victims of stalking that are victims of coercive control. And I feel like you know, and my mother was also a victim of that. I mean, it doesn't have to be that way for everyone. So I really, I really hope you guys glean a lot of insight from her, you know, this particular person. You terrorize her for a very long time and even so much so as to not even letting her get alone get on with her life, where she could actually just have a business and this this person was sending bad messages to her colleagues and to her employers and trying to get her fired and just really trying to sabotage every aspect of her life to control it. So this individual could control everything about her and loop her back in to his ring of madness, if you will. It's tough because I can you know, as she shared with me as she shares with you guys in the program this week, it is something that still really affects her. And it is something that she that she you know, has to really live with every day. And you know, I I really commend her strengthen as she has gone on to pass a law and work with her state representatives and her home state of Arizona to make sure that things like this don't happen to other victims. So again, her nonprofit envision you victory.org She's really helping victims. And I've referred her to some friends of mine that have also been through similar situations that are looking for help and support. So I am pleased to welcome to the program this week, Kimberly minor.
My guest today is Kimberly minor. Kimberly, thank you so much for joining us.
Kimberly Miner 10:31
Absolutely. Thanks so much for having me on Collier.
Collier Landry 10:36
So, Kimberly, we you and I chatted a little bit. We met actually, because you had seen my documentary, correct?
Kimberly Miner 10:42
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it was I watched your documentary. And I've watched I think I watched every single one of your podcasts at this point.
Collier Landry 10:50
Oh, wow. Okay, cool. Thank you so much. So Kimberly, you know, you had you sort of delved into a little bit of your story with me, but why don't we Why don't you start from sort of the beginning on on what has happened and some of the impacts that you've been able to make because of your story?
Kimberly Miner 11:10
Yeah, you know, kind of reached out to you, because I had a huge interest when you had your podcast with Chris on the cybersecurity and I having to deal you know, with having to be very careful with the, you know, stalking that goes on with, you know, romance and, you know, security having to do around with your personal life and stuff. And I, you know, reached out and said, You know, I thought that was such a great piece that you did, it touched on, you know, my personal journey that I dealt with, with my own personal stalker that it was a lot of great information. And that I you know, you delve into, you know, some great information, but it actually is just, you know, several areas of stalking, there are so many different rabbit holes that you can go down when it comes to stalking. And one of the biggest things, when it comes to this area that you're diving into, is that there is so many gray areas that the judicial system is so far from catching up to, and what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. And what you know, is the personal thought processes of what we are what is believed, that we are putting ourselves up for when we decide to play out on the internet. And so I thought it was a great opportunity to reach out to you and talk to you about of just how devastating and how it you know, putting yourself out there in the internet of you know, what it can do and how it can destroy a person's life.
Collier Landry 13:10
So, Kimberly, why don't you sort of take us into how you became aware of all this, like what has happened to you in your personal life that is sort of major because you've run IRC and you've changed some laws or a law had a Kennedy law created to protect against stalking in the state of Arizona, I believe. And you've you've been able to meet with representatives, but why don't you take us back a little bit to how you came into all of this.
Kimberly Miner 13:39
It was not by choice. It was something that I was completely unaware of. And it was something that was done to me out of spite and it was a control and done out of my sucker wanting to to destroy me. And you know, taking that power and using it as a weapon to take information and twist it twist the plot and how that story went. And that's easy to do when you put that on social media.
Collier Landry 14:26
Essentially what this is is you were you were building a business you had a business and you had you were part of Facebook groups or you were part of social media groups and and bulletin boards or whatever that is right. Whether it be through meetup or Facebook or wherever Pinterest and this person who had this obsession for you would literally insert themselves into every aspect of your life in an attempt to to wall you off from the world is that what you're saying?
Kimberly Miner 14:56
You know, I think of a lot of the things that you to talk about, you know, in your story, you know, when you're talking about, you know, defense attorneys taking pictures and stuff, and they twist the, how the pictures are presented, you know?
Collier Landry 15:16
Yeah, the order the order which they're presented. Yeah,
Kimberly Miner 15:19
you know, you twist the dialect of how how that story is presented, it's so easy to do that on social media, because who's there to defend you? Who's there to, to, you know, tell that that story is not, you know, correct or that it's not the way that it's presented. And, you know, in the moment that that goes up, you know, how many people are seeing that, in, within seconds, have, have a thought process and have an opinion, and start giving, you know, they're giving their advice, or giving their opinions and putting things out there? And, you know, it can completely although, you know, somebody says, Oh, you know, it only lasts so long before something else is out there. But yet, you know, the damage starts not only the opinion they have at you that second, but it's about how you feel about yourself, you know, and how do you, you know, start, you know, coming around the corner, or how you start, you know, wrapping your brain around it. And then you're having to go through this whole thing of going through this explanation of saying, well, that's not how it is. And then you're having this you know, what I call it is this autopsy of like having to dissect it in your in this continuous downfall of like dissecting things over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. And if somebody does this to you 24 hours a day, all day long, seven days a week, and he goes on and on and on, and on and on. You're getting to a place where you don't feel like it's like crazy making you one shilling will make you start to question it, you're like, well, well, maybe maybe the story wasn't as like, I thought it was, you know, maybe it's
Collier Landry 17:18
Yeah, I mean, that's, that's textbook gaslighting, right, is that, you know, these the perpetrator, whoever you're, you know, you're dealing with, they, they make you feel like you're going crazy, like, and they just basically change their but I guess I just want to get into so who do you you know, your stalker? Yes. And so, and you feel comfortable telling us like how you met them, and what you went through,
Kimberly Miner 17:45
you have to be careful relationship,
Collier Landry 17:46
Kimberly Miner 17:47
have one I live under an address country confidentiality, so I have to protect my I have to protect, like my boundaries. And also we have court records that we signed that I will not say anything that is derogatory towards this person that would hold me responsible, but I will, what I will say is that we know each other personally, this is a personal this is we know each other personally, on a very personal level, so this person has a personal vendetta to, you know, he feels like he is this person feels like they've been wronged, you know, and it goes to the point of, you know, they have personally, you know, done things that have been very hurtful towards me, they have done things that have put me in a position of being, you know, harmed I've been crime victim of theirs. So, you know, those are the parameters of the situation. So, you know, they're set up setup of the situation is that, you know, they, you know, wound up being in a situation where they could not have access to the so the next step was then if I can't have access to you, I have been put in situations that you know, now, you know, I look like, you know, my name has, you know, been tarnished. Now I, you know, I'm gonna Ante up, you know, and this person is very much a narcissist and a sociopath. So, you know, and there's two things to as you know, is that when, when somebody of that nature in there I have access to you or ability to try to get to you is that when they are called out on the carpet is that they're going to one up, you, you know, and if they are called out by the police, and they're called out by the court system, then now it's vengeance, you know, and they're gonna, they're gonna show you.
Collier Landry 20:25
So they don't even so when you're dealing with a type of person like this, you're finding that it is. It's not even, like they have no regard for the law. Right? Yeah. So they, they have no parameters or sense of decorum that normal people in society say, Okay, well, you know, enough, she's, she's called the police, or, you know, now I'm going to court dealing with this, like, that doesn't deter them from their, their actions, correct. They just keep going. They don't stop.
Kimberly Miner 21:00
No, they, they, you know, what, what I went through is that, you know, my social media, even though I blacked, you know, the, the certain people and stuff is that they found a way to still find those people and my business connections, and, you know, all of a sudden, you know, on their business pages they would be getting, they would be getting notifications or letters on their business, their, you know, business pages, or all of a sudden, they would look up their business addresses, or their home addresses. And they would be getting court documents and stuff sent to their, their home addresses or their business addresses
Collier Landry 21:52
just sort of put this in a frame for our audience. So if you were doing business with a client, this person who had this obsession with, you would then find out who those people are, and then would send them documents or things that they felt were damaging to you in an attempt to control you or to sabotage those relationships, because they're sort of feeling was if, if I can't have you, nobody can have you and nobody can, is allowed to deal with you. Unless I say so. So it's just a control thing for this person, correct?
Kimberly Miner 22:27
Yeah. If they would notice somebody new would comment, and they would notice that maybe that person was in a networking group of mine, I would wind up the next time I would wind up going to that networking group. I would get done with the meeting. And they would, you know, take me aside and say, Hey, can I talk to you for a second? Next thing I know that would be pulling out an envelope that had been addressed and gone to them. And I would be horrified, mortified, you know, that something would be sent to them in the mail.
Collier Landry 23:01
Wow. And then so when these people would come to you and say, hey, you know, Kim, I got this package from someone, and this is all this very personal information from you. And what type of personal information would this be? Would this be documenting the court case with this individual
Kimberly Miner 23:23
therapy, court documents?
Collier Landry 23:26
And text messages? And it was it was an attempt to defame you essentially. And, and so how did these people react? Do they? Because for me, if this happened to me, and I was doing business with you, one, I would be concerned for you, because I would feel that I'm not privy to this information. And why is somebody doing this? But also, how do they find me? You know, how do they find me from a Facebook? So was this individual when they would see someone like your comments, and then they would go and stand essentially stalk that person who liked to comment, and then find out everything about that person and then involve that person. Personally not to keep using the alliteration, but they would involve them and find their address and be able to get them get access to them. Is that correct? Wow, so really what I was saying about Chris salgo was discussing with Chris really hit home with you because this is something that you have dealt with firsthand. Yes.
Kimberly Miner 24:29
Absolutely. Yeah. I very much could. It was like really when you were having that conversation. It For Me. It was like reliving everything. I had gone through different networking groups, if there was events that they would be going to this person would show up at those events in even if I wasn't there. They would take pictures of it and then put it up on social media. Yeah, and then refer to my business name, and talk about how the look at the damage that I could possibly do in this group.
Collier Landry 25:09
So this is concerning to me for a couple of reasons. And and you can maybe go in and sort of explain this to our listeners did anyone who was involved in these groups, find out who this individual was, and call the police on them and say this person is disruptive? They are not only disruptive they are you trying to gain our personal information in a way to involve us to stalk us? Or pursue us or damage or defame us or possibly do something to our families, because of their obsession with this one individual who we've randomly met? And this isn't right. I mean, where did where did those individuals rights? Who aren't even involved have no history with this person? Where Where did their their rights come in?
Kimberly Miner 25:58
Well, I you bring up a really interesting point. And this is one of the points that I talk about. And one of the things that I really work on, on trying to get out and talk about, when I give my talks is that, you know, we talk about that we're horrified when we hear about domestic violence, and we see pictures and things like that, and we hear things on the news. And we say that's just horrible. Something needs to be done about it. But we talk about, like, it's some, it's others jobs to do something about it and not realizing that, no, it's our job as a society to do something about it. And, you know, people would sit there and say, you know, we're, we're there with you, we don't hold you accountable, we support you, we care about you. But yet, nobody was willing to take that extra step and go to the place and make a police report, which, you know, the more reports you have in somebody else that actually creates their own story and their own report, it actually makes all the difference in the world, because it's not just my story, it's not just me making a claim, it's somebody else who is extremely upset, you know, and when you have a community come together, and say, We want action, it holds a lot more weight. And that didn't happen. And so not that I'm trying to sit here and try to throw any blame or say that those people cared any less about me, because, you know, they were very sincere when they said that they cared about me. But at the end of the day, that's what it takes to make a big difference.
Collier Landry 28:07
I mean, I would agree with that. 100% is that you have to at some point, the rubber needs to meet the road, right. But I think that, you know, it's interesting that we're examining this, because you're, you know, you've seen it in a way that is affected you where you're essentially saying, hey, I need just some of you guys to come forward. Because if these people had come forward and said, you know, hey, look, you know, I'm also bothered by this, and then this person is being directly affected by this, we need to do something, law enforcement, or the court system would have taken action you feel, but because they didn't do that, and this is this sort of goes back into sort of a national conversation that feel that we're having right now with, let's say, gun violence. And there's an issue with this, right? And people say, Well, why didn't they report this person behavior? Why didn't they say this? And again, we don't want to be in a, in a police state where you're constantly when you're reporting people and this type of thing, because that's not good, either. But there are certain times when you become involved, that you should be concerned and rallying as a community is one way, just like when somebody is that there's a missing persons case. And we, you know, for years, we just think that the police will deal with this. Well, there's so many of these cases, I'm sure the police are inundated with these types of cases as well. And you know, you know, I've done an episode recently with my my good friend, Lenore, Claire, and she has had the same issues that it wasn't until she literally just organized everything herself with the police and with private detectives, that they finally paid attention to city of LA and she was able to get her stalker arrested and he went to prison, you know, and he's been in and out of jail, because you know, again, this is someone who was very affluent came from an affluent family who had means so they they essentially have nothing better to do when they become obsessed now he was schizoaffective Do you believe that you're or was your stalker affected by a mental illness or just narcissistic personality disorder you feel or what was that, or maybe you can't speak to that, but,
Kimberly Miner 30:12
you know, I don't have I have conversations that I've had with my own personal therapist, I don't have any documentation that I can, you know, give you that would be on record. So, but I have, you know, my own therapist that had worked with the both of us, so I, I feel very comfortable with that, of being able to, you know, give that kind of feedback that when I was going through all of this, that, that was a really good person for me to be with of going through that therapy, because there was able to give that other side having his it's not that any therapist that you're working with, isn't a good therapist to work with, but they have never had that ability to interact with that other person. So they're doing their best to go with saying, okay, you know, if people have these atypical personalities, then generally speaking, you know, I would say they probably are most likely to be like this, you know, and that's the best they can do, because they can't document anything with somebody that they haven't ever spent time with. So I had the good fortune, having the chance that they have spent time with this person. So, you know, that, for me, was such a blessing, because they were able to be able to talk to me in a fashion that was able to zone in and say, you know, I can walk you through this, from a, you know, both from both sides, and be able to help me, you know, through and, you know, it was very, very, very, very difficult. Because, you know, you know, we've we haven't even gotten through, you know, all all the different things that that we're done yet, or conversation that, you know, that at the I would say, tip, you know, at the tipping point, you know, I was, at the point, at the worst, at the worst point of, of this. I had every window covered up, I was working on my laptop out of my bed, I was afraid to get out of my bed, I would go running, I would strategically think what I wanted out of my fridge to eat or drink. And I would strategically count to three, and I would run to get what I wanted, and would run back to my bed. Because that was too I was too afraid to think who was videoing me? What are they looking at? So
Collier Landry 33:34
sorry. was hard. Yeah, I can imagine. It's, I've had friends that have not been through this extreme of a circumstance but certainly have had people surveil them in their own homes and enter the homes and move things around and attempt to again, make them feel like they were going crazy to manipulate them, you know, logging through in through their Wi Fi routers and things like that, you know, just you know, obviously when you do something, here's an interview someone like Chris Delgado, who was on the program and that you saw obviously who's who works with this social engineering and cyber stalking cases. You have a lot of people that come out and say, Man, this is what happened to me. And you know, I'm just so sorry that you had to live in your own home in fear. And the person wasn't even there yet. It was the thought of them. And it was I mean, that's a lot. That's a lot to handle. Yeah.
Kimberly Miner 34:37
If I had you know, a new you know, friend that that person had never, you know, met before because you have new friends that you meet and stuff like that and they would park in the driveway. Within several days they got they would get a wind up getting a letter in the mail. So it got To the point that I would have to have them park their car behind the RV gate or in my garage in order to protect.
Collier Landry 35:10
So this person couldn't couldn't have their license plate be seen to them, they could be tracked down. I mean, this is just it's staggering to me that so many people that were in your life didn't just step up and say, you know, what, enough of this like, Who is this person? Okay, like, why am I getting these? Okay, and then going, because I would assume that this type of thing, also, when you're doing it through the mail, also involves a certain level of criminal prosecution as a possibility because you're using the the postal system now to stalk and intimidate. And, you know, you know, intimidate, use fear, fear intimidation towards these individuals. I mean, I'm sure there's many laws that were broken, so. So for you, talk to me about the moment because now you've been, even though you are still in this, you're in a protection program? Correct. So no one is able to know where you're at. And you're not in the state where this happened, and all this but you are in. But the state that you're in now, you helped change some laws with some congressman, is that correct? Yeah, I want to talk a little bit about that with it with your foundation and what you're doing. Yeah, to be proactive.
Kimberly Miner 36:26
You know, that was very empowering. I went and spoke in front of the House
Collier Landry 36:32
and the State of the State House of Representatives, and in both
Kimberly Miner 36:37
the House and the Senate, and I shared my testimony of what I had gone through. And I guess, when the first step was the house, and it, unbeknownst to me, is that I was told that they were concerned that it was actually not going to pass in the house because the Democrats were not for this bill. And I'm not sure what the reasons were. But when they had heard all of my testimony, it actually passed 10 to zero. And I was so excited about that. Because for me, I was all about I was like a force to reckon with about this bill. That's amazing. It was make me what is the bill Exactly. harassment and stalking on social media is a misdemeanor. And so for me, I was all about this, like, you know, I was very adamant that this had to take place. I wanted to make sure that no matter how difficult it was to talk about, because when this bill was being talked about, it was very shortly after my experience, and I didn't care how difficult it was to talk about. To me. What it meant for me was that, if I could talk about this, that meant that I could go back to the police. And I could get them to actually do what I needed them to do. So it meant everything to me to make sure that this bill got passed. So I actually, every step of the way, every time I spoke, I would send an email to my domestic violence investigator and said, This is what I did today. Like we're one step closer than I can get you to do what I need you to do, you know, thank you hated hearing from age, so. And then
Collier Landry 38:53
you eventually forced them by your activism, you force them into action, correct?
Kimberly Miner 38:58
Yeah, absolutely. And then the next step was speaking in front of the Senate, and there's eight people in front of the Senate. And that was an even more empowering opportunity. Because the chairman, you're only supposed to get I think it was three and a half minutes to speak. And the chairman when I got done speaking, he actually said, I think she wants to finish up and he actually gave me more time to speak. They were so blown away by everything that I had to say about my experiences, then also, they were just so unbelievably blown away by how many obstacles that I was having to deal with when it came to trying to get, you know, law enforcement to actually enforce because it was just a draw the pick of who it is that, you know, showed up to take the report. So, you know, I think that for me, when they go around to do the vote, listening to every single one said, may I say something, and listening to our eight of them had something to say, and they all said something about, you know, we can't allow this, we need to do something with this bill, so that she never has to go through this again. And I think for me, actually taking whatever it took to show up that day, to just listen to what they had to say, was worth every second of the nerves that I had going through me that day.
Collier Landry 40:47
Sure that so
Kimberly Miner 40:48
yeah, in that past eight to zero, and so because it it passed simultaneously, it automatically went to the governor and and got signed in then that may or the governor. So that was really, really exciting.
Collier Landry 41:01
It was an Arizona got it. And so what was the law passed?
Kimberly Miner 41:08
It was passed in 2020, may 2021.
Collier Landry 41:14
So it's a year in the bush on the books so far. And what has the impact of this? What is the law called, again,
Kimberly Miner 41:22
it's harassment and stalking on social media. I'm just starting here, people just starting to realize that this real law is out there now. So I'm hoping that it will now really start to become a deterrent. So I think it took a little while for it to kind of trickle down from, you know, becoming a law into it trickling down into law enforcement. Because you know, it, I think there's just a natural process of, you know, it becoming a law and then actually getting out there for everybody to understand that now. It actually is there, and that you can actually, you know, do something with it. And I'm very high, obviously, very well aware of it, and I speak about it, and make it very well, no,
Collier Landry 42:23
listen, where are you speaking?
Kimberly Miner 42:25
I just recently spoke at ASU and I spoke to 5000 students, because I think it's important for Wow, for the students to understand, because that's a, you know, such a critical time in your life, absolutely, absolutely. are making such decisions of, you know, getting ready that you could wind up in a relationship that forever turned your life. You know, for me, that was a pivotal time in my life where I did wind up, you know, in a domestic violence relationship, I was 23 years old, you know, that's where my journey started. And, you know, all it takes is that you have a lack of confidence. And so, you know, that's a great time to have that conversation, you know, as we're what decisions or you're making, you're one step away, always.
Collier Landry 43:22
Well, it's good, that you're giving back. And that you're, you're you're really spreading awareness with youth, especially where this is, you know, I mean, you know, nowadays, everyone grows up with a smartphone in their hands are a smart device. And it's, and this is, you know, a whole new world, we are with tick tock and, and obviously, Instagram, social media, in general. And there's ways that you can bully people and you can find out things. And it's, you know, it's raising the collective consciousness on this is is, is crucial, and I commend you for the work you're doing and for helping, what is your, so you have a foundation that you started, after all this cracked,
Kimberly Miner 44:08
it's envision you victory over violence, and I built a whole program that is based on focusing in on confidence, self worth, and self esteem. So, you know, the number one issue that as a survivor, or as a victim, is that we're in it because we're, you know, we're suffering from lack of worth, and the number one reason why we return or we have a difficulty, you know, moving forward in life and have a lot of issues that, you know, take us in different areas, is because we don't have the confidence to make the decisions we need and we, you know, go back because we don't feel like we have the self worth because we have that gaslighting that is Working in our head. So I have a whole program of working on what are some set? What are the sabotaging behavior isms that we deal with that have followed us? And what's the why behind it? The why is so important. You know, you talk about that in your TEDx talk, you talk about it, in so many of your podcasts and stuff. And, you know, what's the why, and how are we going to use that? Why to move us forward?
Collier Landry 45:25
Yeah, it's turning that y into like, not that victim mentality of why this happened to me, but it's taking that and moving that into action. Exactly. When you go through trauma.
Kimberly Miner 45:34
Yeah. And how do we, how do
Collier Landry 45:36
we make that shift that wider? What? No, it's
Kimberly Miner 45:38
all about shifting it?
Collier Landry 45:40
Absolutely, absolutely. That's what it is, you know,
Kimberly Miner 45:43
I think it's just for your listeners, it's just so so important is that protect yourself, protect yourself out there. You know, there's a lot going on out there, that we don't realize that we're getting into,
Collier Landry 46:00
but in all fairness, I mean, I know you've you've said to me, Oh, this was, you know, the worst choice I made in my life or worse decision, I said, Well, ultimately, I think it could be the best decision because you're now giving back and you're in a place where you're raising awareness. For others and you're using your your, you know, you are indeed embodying this, this wider what now mentality of let me use this experience that has been so horrific for me. So others can learn from it, you are really embodying this, this role of taking of turning your trauma into something that's positive for others. So again, when you said to me, this is the worst decision I've ever made in my life, I said, Well, I challenge you to think of it as the best decision, the end, the best thing that could have happened to you, because you're using this to empower not only yourself, but others through your experience, and sharing that with the world. And that really is the most amazing thing of all this, you're not hiding in your house, you are getting out there, you are reaching out to individuals like myself, to share your story and you're getting laws passed and even you know, on a smaller level, that is still going to make a big impact. And that might actually save at least that one person from going through what you went through. I mean, I think you feel that right?
Kimberly Miner 47:20
I do, I do. You know, my biggest, my biggest mission, you know, and I, I wear my hope around my neck. And, you know, that is that my biggest hope all the time is that I don't want others to take 25 years to find, you know, their, their worth, and to make mistakes, I knew that their journey is much shorter than mine was to find where their purposes. And if I can do that, then everything that I went through was absolutely worth it. Because it got me to where I am today, and is getting them where they need to be very, very quickly. And that's the greatest gift ever. So that's, that's what I want for all of them. Is that you know, everyone is is so precious.
Collier Landry 48:22
Absolutely. So Kimberly, where can we find your foundation? Where can we find out a little bit about you?
Kimberly Miner 48:28
If you go to envision you victory.org That's the website envision you victory you victory and you is while you not the letter you
Collier Landry 48:38
envision you victory.org
Kimberly Miner 48:41
Yeah, that's the best way to find us and all the informations on there. And, you know, everybody, it doesn't matter where you're located. That's the great thing is that we do offer twice a month free classes for survivors. And we do it via zoom. So you can, you know, join us and be part of it. And, you know, we can be there for
Collier Landry 49:02
you. That's wonderful. Kimberly Monica, thank you so much for joining us. This was this was really great chatting with
Kimberly Miner 49:09
you. Absolutely. Thanks so much for having me.
Collier Landry 49:12
You're welcome here You're welcome. Yeah, it's um it's really tough and I have really been you know, I've had a stalker, and I've had someone who also in a relationship, you know, they were a narcissist. And they really went about to try to dismantle my life reaching out to very personal and longtime connections of mine and people that were very influential in my life, growing up trying their best to sabotage me again, all at the end of the day right before the pandemic to try to loot me back into their world. I love speaking about these things I and I think Kimberly for her courage to come on the program and share as much of her story as she can that she feels comfortable with. I also commend all the work that she's doing because Look, at the end of the day, my mother was also a victim of course of control and a victim of narcissist, and a manipulator and a sociopath. And not everyone needs to have the same outcome that my mother had. And I feel it's really key to learn from people like Kimberly and other guests that I've had to really be able to, you know, learn how to get out of these situations, learn how to avoid these situations, learn how to, you know, and know that you're not alone really, at the end of the day, you're not alone in these situations. And I think that's probably the biggest takeaway from this is, is there's a message of hope that you can come out and things will get better, you can leave these situations and so I'm just really really grateful to have had Kimberly joined the program today. Look on that note, I am calling your Landry and this is moving past murder. Thanks Joe.
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